Camping with the Toyotomi Three!
by TheCrazyPeople
Summary: The Toyotomi Three go camping; however, there seems to be two troublemakers who make it quite difficult to make it through the day... Based on request. AU, One-shot!


Hello everyone! How is life? This will probably be a filler for the epilogue of "True Colors" and the next story. Or maybe a next one-shot. I wrote this on request, so yeah. But I did it just for you, Ryujin Mei! (Check her work out by the way, because I love it! Daaaa, update soooooonnnn! I hope you can!) Anyway, this is going to be an AU one-shot, because I have no idea how to approach this. Ah well. Anyway, I'm going to try. I have no idea how this is going to turn out. It seems like one-shots are not very popular in the fanfic community. (sigh) I hope you like this, Ryujin Mei!

Also, if you like camping, I'm sorry I had to make Mitsunari hate camp... Doesn't he seem like the type to hate it, though? By the way, there's going to be a flashback! I don't know why! But I felt like it.

It's kind of funny how I make Mitsunari the unluckiest in all of my one-shots so far. I don't think I can keep the streak up though.

Wish me luck! I don't know what for, but I'll need it considering the bad luck I had in outdoor school. (Which is the thing that inspired me to write this. You don't want to know the bad luck I had at that point...)

_Italics _will be people's thoughts. Sorry for all of the cuts too! (You'll know what I mean.) And I always thought Hanbei needed some glasses... Maybe that's just me. I have no idea. But enough babbling, to the story!

* * *

"Why I am going with you guys again?" Mitsunari was reluctantly riding in a car with some of his most closest friends and family... Not that he would admit that. He had been whining and groaning about how he didn't want to be there, or he really hates to be in nature, or that camping is for dorks. He turned to the window in hopes that he could escape this "stupid" trip. But in reality, he can't.

"Come on, Mitsunari," said Kiyomasa calmly, who was the oldest and driving, "You shouldn't be complaining. You'll have tons of fun!" Masanori then turned around to face Mitsunari, who was the only one sitting in the back, and slapped him in the shoulder.

"I guess- OW! What was that for?!" However, instead of getting an apology from the dunce, he got a large, wide grin that was slowly spreading on his face. Mitsunari rubbed his now throbbing shoulder, as he drove daggers into Masanori with his eyes.

"I-I still don't really want to go," he mumbled, staring at all of the trees passing them as they drove on the rocky road, "Either way... That's what they all say." Suddenly, he unpleasantly remembered what had happened years ago...

* * *

Flashback

"It's be really fun! You'll have tons of fun!" said a whippersnapper, in a high voice, walking with his fellow classmate.

"It sounds really fun!" squealed Mitsunari with tons of energy. Little Mitsunari was going on his first camping trip! He was going for school, and he just couldn't wait for the ferry to whisk him away from the stresses of life. Not to mention his annoying and incompetent brothers. He was told by his brothers that the camp was going to be great; and he really did hope that it was true. The ferry appeared on the horizon and drew closer and closer; making the small boy's heart to beat faster and faster due to excitement. He could just imagine the fun he was going to have!

...It didn't go very well. Let's just put it that way.

When the poor soul got back to his home, he was covered with bruises and injuries from one end of the spectrum to another. Heck, he was also wet from head to toe and kept coughing and sneezing. He couldn't stop itching his bug bites and was bedridden for several days because of a cold he had caught, and he had rolled his ankles dozens of times during the trip. And even after he had gotten away from camp, he still had horrible luck.

In fact, he tripped again after getting back and injured both of his legs. After that, he swore to himself that he would never go through the hell that was called "camping".

* * *

Until today that is. Hideyoshi and Nene, who were their adopted parents, made Mitsunari go with his brothers, as much as he protested against the idea. He kept staring out of the window until the car made a full stop.

"We're here! I can't wait to just smell the fresh air!" said Kiyomasa, who pulled the car key out, unbuckled his seatbelt, and jumped out of the car to stretch. Masanori had done the same; leaving Mitsunari to mope over himself.

_"I don't understand why..."_ Mitsunari mused himself with the thought of being able to do something he wanted; maybe torturing his brothers with the traditional Japanese ceremony was a good plan. It wasn't like he hated- No wait, he did hate camp.

"Hey! What are you doing in the car still? Come on and help us!" Mitsunari then took his time by slowly getting out of the car and dragging his feet towards Kiyomasa and Masanori; who were glaring at him for taking his sweet butt time. "Geez! Took you long enough!"

* * *

Later that night...

There were three tents set near a large fire pit; and each one was different from the next. A simple silver tent sat peacefully on the green grass; it looked like it had belonged there. Then, to the right, there was a gorgeous red tent that was pitched almost perfectly and looked quite out of place; just like its owner. Finally, there was a black tent, and it was very messy; its stakes sticking out of the ground and tilted, the nylon fabric wrinkled and dirty, and overall, it looked like it was going to fall apart.

"Hmm..." There was a middle-aged man staring at the tents, he knew who those belonged to. "Why in the world did they hire me for this? I'm a bodyguard, not some babysitter... I hate it when people take me less seriously like that... Maybe I'll have some fun with them." He had a scar printed vertically down his left cheek; and he had bulging muscles, for he was quite the brute considering his profession.

Sakon Shima was hired by the very Hideyoshi and Nene to protect their children. He didn't really like the idea at first, but hey, he needed the money.

"These guys are so noisy... I mean, have you heard those three argue?" said a woman-like voice suddenly, "What a headache." Turning around, there was this feminine boy with glasses who was standing next to Sakon; managing to scare him.

_"How did he get there? He can move fast... Almost like a cat..." _

"I'm Hanbei by the way, I'm just camping here," Hanbei then took off his yellow beret and bowed towards the eyebrow-raised man. "I have deduced that you are not here to be apart of their shenanigans. They are soooo annoying... (sigh) So, why don't we make their trip a little more... Interesting?"

A playful smirk slowly made its way across Sakon's face; oh boy, what an interesting weekend it's going to be. "Of course. Why do you think I'm here for?" Hanbei smiled back with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

* * *

When the Toyotomi three began to sleep, Hanbei, being the intellectual boy he was, had already drawn up a cunning plan that was more unexpecting than Sakon had originally thought. He didn't even know that the boy that now kneeled before him had the intellectual power to add and subtract because of his appearance.

"T-This is more than expected," said Sakon, examining the map and details, impressed. "I didn't think you had the ability to do so, but it looks good. How in the world did you know about their weak-" He questioned, but to only be cut off by Hanbei, who saw it coming.

"I was watching them for a while now," he said, wagging his finger as he explained, "I have noted each of their weaknesses and corresponded my plans to each one of them. Now, shall we get a move on?"

They secretly and swiftly moved all throughout camp before morning came to finally get their revenge against the Toyotomi three. Why would they want revenge? Well, they may not seem like it, but Sakon and Hanbei do like to hold onto their grudges.

"Can't wait to see their reaction!" a voice squealed in the midst of the silent night.

* * *

"Arrrgghhh! What is going on?!" Masanori rushed out of his tent, with a piece of paper that was quite amusing for the regular folks.

_"If you really want to get into your phone, you need to answer a skill testing question, 'Tommy's mother had three children, their names are April and May. Who was the third child?"_ Masanori freaked out at the piece of paper, for he couldn't even come close to guessing the answer! His hair poofed and his face grew sour as he moped over the fact that he could not go on his phone anymore. He stomped with rage.

"(sigh) You are such an idiot. There-" Before Mitsunari could finish his sentence, he was snatched away from the rest of the group. However, Kiyomasa and Masanori did not notice.

"What do you think-" Out of the blue, Mitsunari was thrown into the mud; getting him to freak out over the dirtiness that was called mud. "Grrr! Eep!" He was then tackled by a mysterious force; and they tumbled around the dirt, getting him messier and messier. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BECAUSE YOU MADE ME ALL DIRTY!" Little Hanbei laughed until his glasses almost fell off and broke, but luckily, he stopped before then.

Later that day, Mitsunari returned back to camp all scruffed up and injured; getting Kiyomasa to question what happened.

"Hey Mitsunari! Whoa... What happened? You're all-"

"I don't want to talk about it," fumed Mitsunari. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" He then walked back into his tent, tired of all of this shenanigan.

"Hmm. I wonder why- Ahhh!" Kiyomasa suddenly jumped in surprise as he was attacked by bees! Bees swarmed him from head to toe; covering almost every inch of his body. Shortly after that, he felt a tremendous surge of pain; the bees had really stung him! Kiyomasa had never felt so much pain in any of his camping trips.

"That's it!" said Kiyomasa, who temper usually didn't snap so fast, "We're going home! I don't even care that's it has been only a day!"

He then forced his other brothers to pack up and leave; boy, were they ready and wishing to go home.

* * *

"Heehee! Oh. My. Gods. This is probably the best prank I have ever pulled off! This makes me laugh so much!" Hanbei was literally rolling on the floor; he was shaking with laughter.

"I think my job has been done... Either way..." Sakon said with a smirk, "They were dumb enough to pay me beforehand, but I just didn't feel like doing the job halfway, so they're lucky."

"Ha! You're a pretty nice guy, Sakon. The kind that's good to make acquaintances with. Maybe our paths will cross again as a whole," Hanbei then began to think. "If we're lucky, that is."

* * *

"What in the world happened to you guys? How come you're back already?" Hideyoshi ended up looking after his sons; for when he had seen his three sons, he immediately sighed. However, he didn't question it too much until now, because it seemed to be quite the touchy subject. And it still was.

"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW!"

* * *

Hello Everyone! I kind of failed after the first half, but I hope you don't mind! I hope that you guys all enjoyed it, and I really tried to get this out in time! But school just keeps me super tuckered out! I'm sorry! Expect the epilogue soon! I hope you all have a nice day! Once again, sorry for all of the breaks in this story! And Ryujin Mei, I hope this satisfies you! I think I failed though. This was a bit hard to write, so yeah. Oh well.

TheCrazyPeople

See you guys next time!


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